Good Byes Really Suck...

Rough day...

Well it was our final day at school and at the children's home today and it was not at all easy! I held it together at school fairly well only tearing up a couple times, one being when all of the kids were sobbing and running after our van as we drove off...never to see them again :( I think the hardest part for me is that I cannot say that I will see them again or don't worry we will meet again because we probably won't and I probably wont ever see them again. I hate that!

After leaving the kids at school it was then off to the children's home...I knew it wasn't going to be any easier..actually harder. Bianca lost it in my arms and I didn't let her good the whole time we were there. She never stopped sobbing and that is when I lost it. I though to myself...why do I have to be another person who leaves her...why do I have to be another person who she has to say goodbye to...IT JUST PLAIN SUCKS!

Bianca is a girl who doesn't have a mother or father in her life...she doesn't even live with any blood family members...she is one of the only kids in the home that doesn't have a sibling living there and she has been left by WAY too many people. If you haven't read any of my other blogs, she has called me her mom since the beginning and I have practically adopted her as my own. It is sooo hard to leave her and no matter how much I told her that I promise to write and I'll NEVER forget her...nothing helped her pain. I prayed for her and hugged her close for a long time. Then....I had to leave her...I had to leave her crying in the doorway of the children's home...it was one of the WORST feelings ever!

I can't say much more...just that good byes...they really suck...

AND...I still have so much to process...

Video of some of my grade 3 learners singing a good bye song to me. :(

Chitoka and De'loris

Emotional Monday...

What a day…

School was surprisingly good for a Monday! I felt bad for the learners though…my teacher did a religion lesson that consisted of reading first and then a HUGE summary that the kids just had to copy into their books. It took them all morning to do this. No activity, no engagement, just copying words from the board. Then, after break, I taught a math lesson on less than and more than, gave the kids a few practice problems and then tried a game called math basketball with them. Although the game got to rowdy and the kids couldn’t really handle it, they had fun while it lasted. I told them that maybe we will try again another day this week, but the days are winding down. We did play another game though at the end of the day…HEADS UP SEVEN UP…a classic, but these kids had never played and they really enjoyed it. I even enjoyed just being able to have more fun with the kids. My goal is to play at least one game with them each day. I just really want to spend as much time as I can laughing and smiling with them, rather than raising my voice and being frustrated with them.

After school, I walked home with the Children’s home kids once again. It was again a great walk. I could tell right away though that Bianca was struggling. She started to tear up as we got closer to home, so I hugged her tight and said if you are sad because this is my last day at home with you, know that I love you, I’ll miss you and I WILL write to you. I told her we would have the best time ever today and enjoy every last minute. I knew by her reaction that I had read her emotions correctly. As we walked in the gate we both pulled it together and it was a pretty normal beginning. The kids ate lunch, rested and then started on homework. I help Bianca with her English homework and then helped Johannes with reading. After this Bianca randomly started reading all the letters and cards I had written her over the last two months. As she read she began to cry…I held her tight and tried to comfort her as much as I could, assuring her in any way that I could. Shortly after this she began to literally ball…balling to the point that she was coughing and hyperventilating. I teared up and hugged her tighter. My heart just broke as I realized that Bianca is one of the only kids there that doesn’t have siblings there. She doesn’t have a real family so when she gets close to visitors, it hits her really hard when they have to leave! In Bianca’s last letter she said to me that she doesn’t have a mother or father and so she loves seeing me because I am her mother. She said she wants to cry every time she sees me because she sees her mother and will miss me! After trying to calm her down a little I took her on a walk. I tried to tell her that she has probably had a lot of people tell her they will keep in touch and then don’t, but I am different and I promised her that I would write and that I would NEVER forget her!

Thursday is the last day I will see her…it is going to be a hard day. It’s so hard to have to say goodbye and not know if I will ever see them again. Usually I can say, I love you and will miss you, but don’t worry we will see each other again…I can’t say that to these kids and that just makes it 10x worse.

What Better than to spend my last weekend at the coast! :)

Honestly...I don't even know what to say...

Sunset on the Beach the first night

The beach was amazing!! I LOVE beaches! Although it wasn't the nicest weather ever, it was beautiful! I had many walks along the ocean...THE ATLANTIC OCEAN :)...and collected many shells! We did a little shopping and touring, but other than that it was a very relaxing weekend just hanging out by the beach. Did I mention we stayed in a house RIGHT ON THE BEACH?? Yea...we could see the ocean right outside our window and could walk down to the beach anytime we wanted! All I can say is..AMAZING! Lets just say that it was another weekend of the Lord showing me how great He is and how beautiful His creation is. I actually got a lot of quiet time with Him on the beach too, which was great!

We also got to cook food this weekend, seeing that our house was complete with pots, pans, silverware, stove, etc. So the first night we split up main dish, dessert, and bread & salad between all of us and cooked in pairs. My roommate and I were in charge of dessert and after her prompt about BJ's, I brought in CAMP PIZOOKIE!!! YUMMM!!

PIZOOKIE!

The girls loved it. It TOTALLY reminded me of camp :) We had pasta for dinner, which was also very good. Dinner was definitely a success. The second night Shane (our driver) and his cousin cooked us a Braai!! That was an experience alright...we didn't end up eating until like 9:30, 10:00. They had some issues with the fire and keeping it going. haha. It was fun though and delicious once done!

Other than that....I know this blog doesn't do the weekend justice but hopefully the pictures help it out...at least until I get home and can tell you all more :)

ATHLETICS!!

A.I. Steenkamp Athletes

On your mark...set...GOOOOO!!!

Wow what a day! Thursday last week my school hosted the big track and field event for the year at a big stadium called Independence Stadium! There were 12 different schools participating and reminded me of just a HUGE track meet, expect they call it Athletics here! It was a blast. We opened the day with the national anthem and scripture reading by the principal, followed a dance performed by our own A.I Cheerleaders! I won't lie I teared up when our girls started dancing in front of hundreds of peers and the whole stadium was yelling and cheering for them! I was soo proud :). It was after this that the running and field event began.

Most of the kids ran without shoes and as the day got hotter I wondered how they did it on the hot track, but they are tough and did amazing!

Our job while we were there was to take lots of pictures and encourage the kids, which was the best! I met a lot of new kids and was able to cheer them on and hang out with them all day!! None of my own learners were there because they are young and the school could only take the best athletes...how they choose, I have no idea.

The day was a roller coaster of emotions though...crying at the beginning, lots of cheering and more tears as I watched all these kids run, jump, throw, and cheer their hearts out! I felt like a proud mama of hundreds of kids :)

High Jump

Long Jump

Hurdles!

While we were there it was also very clear that our school was more than likely the poorest because we were the only school without any sort of athletic uniform...this made it hard to know which kids were ours, but it made no difference to the kids as they still did the best that they could! I loved every minute of the day and left hugging and high-fiving all the kids!

I ended the day burnt and exhausted, but with a big smile on my face and my heart overflowing with joy and proud feelings! :) It was a great day!!

Getting ready for their race

Set...

Go!!!!!

Visiting Vonny and Ethan's Home...

Vonny and Ethan

For one of my assignments while on this trip, we are required to go on a home visit to one of our learners' home to visit their family and learn more about them. I chose the home of tow of my learners actually and it was quite the experience...

On Wednesday, Jessica Edwards and I met after school with my learners and followed them home. It actually ended up being a short walk... only about 3-5 minutes. As we walked up this is what we saw...

We entered their home and I was able to meet Vonny's two uncles. We found out quickly that those were the only two adults home and their were about 7 or 8 kids home as well. After asking some questions about the family and who all lived with them, I found out that their were around 10-15 people living in this small house. On the way to the house Vonny had told me that she lived with her mother, grandmother, grandfather, uncles and aunts. She informed me that her father lived in town, but never told me why.

The Family

As my visit at Vonny and Ethan's continued, one of her uncles, Elwin, started to get very awkward. He kept lying to us and telling us answers and things that were not even close to being true, but consisted of talk about violence and how he was really happy we came to visit there home... the way he said it though was actually a little scary. It was almost like he was trying to scare us by telling us lies about how the area was a very violent place. I tried to just ignore the things he was saying, that is what the kids were all telling me to do, as well as what Vonny's other uncle was telling me. He also told me that Elwin had mental issues and that he was messed up in the head. I don't know if this was true of if he was just drunk. Anyways...As we continued to talk and take pictures, Elwin asked to take a picture with me. This seemed very normal to me seeing that everyone in Namibia, whether child or adult, loved getting their picture taken. Well it didn't end very normal...right as I started to take the picture I saw out of the corner of my eye Elwin coming in for a kiss, I immediately withdrew and said NO! I then stepped away from him as, once again, the kids and other uncle told me he has mental issues. One of the kids even told me I could go stand in a different place. Once this happened it was very hard to ignore him and I was growing very uncomfortable. A few minutes later the other uncle asked our opinion about Obama and as we tried to answer, but change the subject (not wanting to get into politics) Elwin began to cuss and insult Obama, calling him a very bad word. We finally got the subject changed quickly and began taking pictures again. As I took photos of the kids, Elwin once again came over to me and asked if he could take a picture. I said no, turned off my camera and said I was done taking pictures. Just as I was doing this, one of the kids instructed me not to give my camera to him or let him touch it. Elwin then began to cuss us out and get very angry. This is when I decided we should probably leave and head home, so we did.

Me with the kiddos

As I walked back to A.I. to be picked up, Jess and I talked about what happened, trying to process through it all. It was definitely a very uncomfortable situation, but I cant help but think... all those kids live with him and have to hear all the cussing and whatever else happens in the house. Maybe he does have a mental illness, but I will probably never know... I don't know... I don't know what the right thing to do in that situation would have been, but I can only hope that I did what I should have done. I tried to protect myself at the same time as extend grace, hope and love in anyway I could. I tried to respond in polite and open ways, but I still have no clue how exactly I feel about the whole situation...

...

It was definitely an experience I will never forget...

Tuesday!

School was MUCH better on Tuesday. The kids seemed to be listening a lot better and I actually got to give them their Valentine’s Day treats, Namibian bubble gum that looks like now and later candies. I actually bought them thinking they were candies, but later found out they were pieces of gum. It was all good though…the kids LOVED it.

Tuesday also consisted of finishing their letters to my students in the States and we actually got to play a couple games at the end of the day because they did so well. We played “MOO COW”, which is just a fun mixer game that I taught the kids before. We actually never play it right because they always copy me when they are suppose to do their own thing, but whatever they still love it and have fun and that’s all that matter in my book J. We also played a name game, which again we never play right, but the kids still LOVE it and laugh A LOT! It’s times like these that I love sooooo much! I love to see these little kids, who come from all different living conditions and family situations, smiling from ear to ear and laughing up a storm. It’s times like these that make me never want to leave them.

Tuesday was also a VERY special day! It was Johannes’ birthday!! Although I didn’t go to the home Tuesday, I get to see Johannes at school everyday and Bianca let me know that it was his birthday! J So I happened to have a fun pencil on me that I gave him, along with a big hug! He had the biggest smile on his face. It was later that night that I found out from the other girls, who went to the children’s home that Johannes used to have a twin sister and this year was the first year Johannes was celebrating without her. She was bitten by a snake and passed away about a year ago. This broke my heart. The girls even said that they had a picture of her at the home and made a cupcake that set right beside it, while Johannes looked and the picture and talked to her. Part of me is really glad I wasn’t there to see it because I would’ve started balling. The girls said that was it though, he seemed to still be able to have a good time on his birthday after that.

So over all, minus the sad time with Johannes, the day was good!

Valentine's Day

Valentine Treasure

By: Joanna Fuchs

Valentine treasures are people who

have often crossed your mind,

family, friends and others too,

who in your life have shined

the warmth of love or a spark of light

that makes you remember them;

no matter how long since you've actually met,

each one is a luminous gem,

who gleams and glows in your memory,

bringing special pleasures,

and that's why this Valentine comes to you:

You're one of those sparkling treasures!

This was a poem given to the whole staff at A.I. Steenkamp on Valentine's Day, along with a very good chocolate. It was a very nice treat. I began to realize at the staff meeting that here Valentine's day is much more emphasized...even to those who are not married, engaged or seeing someone. They emphasize LOVE more than anything. Valentine's Day is a day to spread love to all those around you...it's a day to remember those you love and let them know...It's a day that allows them an extra opportunity to spread Christ's love, even when some don't believe. I cannot tell you how many times I heard staff and learners say, "Love is in the air!" It was so great :) Being here for Valentine's day gave me a new prospective on this holiday that, in the States, I never really cared for. Valentine's day is a day about love and although you don't need a day to spread love, it gives you an extra opportunity not only to love those of the opposite sex in your life, but those who have shined in your life, those who you treasure and love! I will forever see Valentine's day different.

Speaking of love though...I have to say that it felt like it was lacking in my class today. It was by far one of the hardest days I've had with them. They did not want to listen AT ALL! They were beating each other up, stealing each others stuff, and every time I looked away they were running around like crazies. No matter how hard I tried to get them settled and listening, they didn't listen. I tried every signal I had taught them plus some and none worked. I tried clapping and they just would start clapping and never stop. I tried waiting silently and there was no response...they didn't even seem to notice me. I tried "If you can hear me touch your...." NOTHING worked! I got very frustrated and I won't lie...I cried a little. I didn't want my kids to see that so I tried to hide it and suck it up, but it was so hard. I felt myself beginning to shut down to everything around me, but I knew I couldn't. I had to continue to teach some how.I had to discipline some how. I just didn't know how...So I tried to have a talk with them. I told them they know how to act and this is not it. I told them that they wouldn't be getting their Valentine's day treat if they didn't fix their behavior and I asked them if this was how they should be treating themselves and myself, as their teacher. They told me no, so I then told them that they owed me an apology. Them apologized and I told them that I forgave them and that I expect their behavior to change. I started over and still decided to have a drawing for prizes for those who did behave (very few but some). I put the day behind me, although it was hard and I headed to the Children's home!

It was probably on of my favorite days ever at the home with the kids. It started with walking home with them from school. Last week I thought to myself, why don't we ever just walk with the kids instead of getting picked up and dropped off there? The kids walk home ever day...I want to see how far they walk everyday and what they experience. So I did! We walked all the way home. It was about a 20-ish minute walk probably and walking with the kids was amazing. Bianca, Johannes, and Gustav all waited after school and showed us the way. It was a great experience.

Syndia's Funny Face

Gavin and Johannes' Funny Faces :)

Once we got to the home we cooled of and took some pictures. As the younger kids rested I gave Conrad, Nikki, Deon, and Coco some shirts that Dennis had sent with me. They loved them. I also got to meet Rosa, the owner of Dolam Children's Home. She was a very nice woman and had both Molly and I sign the visitor book, giving them our contact information. I was sure to ask her for their contact information as well and found out that I will be able to send mail AND/OR email any and all of the kids to keep in touch when I return home. This gives me a little more peace about leaving, but I still don't really like talking about it. Rosa was also telling me how they are going to start building a new Dolam Children's home down the road a bit at the end of this month. The small house they have right now is just TOO small and it is hard with 23 kids to only have 3 bedrooms. The older kids are in with the younger and that makes it harder for all of them. SO, they are building a bigger place that will have more space as well as room for the offices that Rosa and other work out of for the home. They have a small office building down the road from the home now, but because of the two different buildings, Rosa is not at the home very often. She mentioned to me that they need all the support they can get to help pay for the new place and asked if I could fund raise money when i get back to the States...I would love doing this, but will wait to see what happens.

Proceeding with the day, once the kids rested we started homework. Bianca had quite a bit of social studies, so I helped her with that as well as Syndia with her reading homework. We got it all done though and then was able to teach Bianca, Syndia, Priscilla, and a few other kids how to play slap jack. We had a good time playing for about 10 minutes, then decided to go on a walk. Bianca clung onto me and we walked a big loop. I had no idea where I was going, but the kids knew the roads like the back of their hand! A couple of the girls, including Bianca, took my camera most of the time and I later found they they had actually shot some really good photos.

Walking with Bianca

Walking with Bianca and Syndia

When we finally got back to the home, Bianca did my hair again and then we just had some cuddle time. I think we are both realizing that we only have a little time left. She seemed very down as the time got shorter and shorter before I had to leave. She was even asking me and letting me take lots of photos of us together. I love all those kids so much and I am going to have such a hard time leaving. I received several letters from Bianca saying how I am her mother and she is going to miss me very much. One particular letter touched my heart and brought tear to my eyes when she told me she didn't have a mother or father and that she loved seeing me and hugging me every day and that when she sees me she sees her mother... It's moments like this that I feel the Lord really breaks my heart for what breaks His! It will be a struggle leaving all of these kids behind...even my learners, but I know it will be OK.

Cuddles with Bianca After a good walk

Johannes...Always bringing a smile to my face!

Catholic Church Service

Well Sunday was definitely a new experience. I’m all about trying new things and experiencing all that I can, so when we were invited by Johannes (a worker at Casa) to attend church with him, Molly, Veronica and I jumped right on it. I will say it was a very different experience. I enjoyed seeing a different denomination and seeing that once again the Lord gets his message out some how! The service began with singing; some I knew, some I had no idea what they were. I just went with the flow and thank goodness Johannes was there because he is Catholic and knows all the proper routines and what we are suppose to do to be respectful of the church and people attending. It was a little embarrassing and frustrating though not know what I was doing and feeling like I had to do specific things to be accepted and respectful. Most of the time I felt I had NO CLUE what I was doing.

Then…right before we sat down for the first time, we had a woman grab us and tell us to move up front, AND it was NOT just up front it was behind where the priest preaches from, so we got to look at the back of the priest and out on all the people attending church. I was thankful that there were others sitting with us, but it was still very embarrassing being moved in front of the whole church. It was obvious that the church building was way too small for all the church members.

Throughout the service there was a lot of standing up and sitting down, as well as synchronized prayers and saying that were routine throughout the service. Most of the time I had no idea what was happening and even when the priest was preaching because we were in the front, behind him, and he had a thick accent, it was VERY hard to understand!

Then when it was time for communion I confirmed with Johannes that if we are not a part of the Catholic church then we are not suppose to take communion, so we sat and watched as everyone took communion. It was a very interesting experience to watch how everything throughout the service played out. I will say that I felt a little weird just because I felt I was restricted in my faith and passion. I am so used to just being free in front of the Lord and it was a whole new experience trying to make sure I did everything that was expected so that I could respect the people of the church, seeing how I was a visitor and already stood out because of my skin color. Also, not being able to take communion made me really think because at my churches everyone is welcome.

I really found that although God is the same everywhere, I began to realize that some denominations approach Christianity in different ways. Catholic is very different from my more modern and contemporary experiences, but I loved being able to experience a new church in a very different culture. GOD IS STILL THE SAME NO MATTER WHAT AND THAT IS WHAT I LOVE!

Random Thoughts...

WOW! Well I had a very successful day SHOPPING!!!! :) Yes, I spent a lot of money, but what the heck I am in Namibia Africa and I need to get everything I want plus other stuff for people! :) I am actually feeling very good about everything I bought and only have a few small things to get now, which is good because I am running out of money :) lol.

I keep thinking though about how close it is getting to us leaving and honestly its hitting me harder and harder each time I think about it. I think about the orphanage kids soooo often, especially Bianca and how much I am going to miss them.

Jumping pic of my girl taken by Kari

Oh Bianca, LOVE her!

I received 2 letters from Bianca, one Wednesday and another Thursday that just made me think more and more about how much I am going to miss that girl! She calls me her mom now and is usually attached to me while at the orphanage. We have also had a book exchange going on every day. I give her a book to read, she takes it home, reads it and then bring it back for a new book! It has been so great! I love it!!

Johannes :)

Johannes, Gavin and I! Crazy boys :)

Johannes also runs up to me at school and hugs me. He hides behind me and playing a peeking game with me. :) It is so cute! I am planning on walking home with them Monday, which should be amazing! I also want to try and go two days instead of just the one day this week.

Me with some learners at school in the morning!!

Don't get me wrong I love my learners in my class and will miss them all as well!! I have just LOVED being able to just hang out and talk with the kids at the orphanage without having to discipline and manage them. I am REALLY going to miss this place! I am excited to see my family and friends, but I really love it here as well. There are so many feelings and thoughts going through my head about leaving...

Another week passes...not sure how I feel about it...

Another week of teaching gone...Another week closer to having to leave this beautiful country and all the kids here I have grown so close to...

Monday Assembly!

What a week! Monday began with, once again, teaching number patterns and doubling and halving. What is the point in moving on if the learners aren't understanding a topic. Honestly...I feel as though it is a mix between language barriers and attention skills. BUT what can you do?:) So I retaught and gave another assessment to check understanding. It was good though! Then, I had an activity planned for environmental studies about social groups. The learners seemed to have a blast. They received a note card with the name of on social group and they were to find all the people in the same social group as them without talking and only using motions. IT WAS GREAT :) Then I had them draw a picture of the social group they would like to be a part of...what little artists I have. AND FINALLY at the end of the day on Monday I was able to do the first drawing for prizes. I have changed my strategy to giving the learners who are on task and quiet little pieces of paper to write their name on throughout the day and then at the end of the day I draw 2-3 learners names out to pick a prize from my prize bag! :) It's sooo fun giving away fun stuff!

After School RAIN!!

After Monday came Tuesday...of course...and it was a rough day. I had a boy sneak out to break on me when I was dismissing learners individually because so many were being loud and misbehaving. The boy's name is Brian and I told him he would be staying in for break on Wednesday, but after watching him get beat right before Wednesday's break by my teacher, I went up to him to check on him and he had tears in his eyes...as my heart broke there was no way I could keep him in, so I let him go out.

Along with this event on Wednesday were many other very impacting events. I planned like crazy on Tuesday night in order to have math groups Wednesday so that I could give more one-on-one attention to those learners who were still struggling with number patterns and/or doubling and halving. It was a lot of work but after looking over the assessments from Monday, I dividing my learners into 4 groups: those who clearly understood both, those who needed more help with number patterns, those who needed help with doubling and halving, and those who needed extra help with both. Then I came up with various enrichment/practice activities for those who understood as well as a couple for the other groups. I re-taught the concepts to the smaller groups and had the learners who understood doing activities like: double and halving bingo, number patterns with dice, make your own number patterns, and doubling and halving grid. I went into Wednesday thinking it was going to be CRAZY! But surprisingly enough, it was great! It was crazy, but not as bad as I thought it would be and although there are definitely things that I would change for next time, the kids loved it and most really began to understand both concepts.

Class Photo...Say CHEESE!

As the school day came to an end, my day wasn't over yet. Jessica short (as the kids call the other Jessica) and I (Jessica Tall) began walking home with Tia, one of Jessica short's learners. Boy was that an experience! It was such an eye opening experience. As we walked kids crowded around, touched us, held our hands, and walked with us for majority of the way...although some began to drop off, many continued with us. I don't even know that all of their houses were the same direction as we were going, but they wanted to stay with us, lol.

The Walk :)

Once we got to Tia's house we met her family and talked with them. We learned that there were 16 kids and 8 adults all in their VERY small house. I couldn't believe it! I fell in love with one of the little baby/toddlers there though. From the moment I saw her I couldn't help, but smile and play with her. After she warmed up to me, she sat on my lap the rest of the time.There were also several other kids that snuggled up with me :) It was a great experience...from walking home to learning about their family and then also walking back to the school to be picked up. Overall it was a fairly good Wednesday with a mix of thoughts and feelings.

God is the same everywhere I walk! :)

Houses in Katutura

Little girl I saw while walking

Jessica and I with some of the kidos in Tia's family

Cutest baby ever!! Loved HER!

Some of the other girls snuggling up :)

And finally, Today! Today was a pretty normal day...I gave the learners the letters from my students in the States and they were sooooooo excited! :) So excited that it was a little hard to get their attention after handing them out. Once everyone read their letter and got their friendship bracelet on, we began to write the sentences that will soon be in their letters back to the students in the States. In doing this, I found my learners are VERY good at writing sentences!! YIPPEEE!! They loved writing and as they finished I gave them a Namibian flag that I drew and my teacher made copies of for them to color for the front of their letters. The only rough part was when my teacher came in at 12:29 and informed me that the learners were suppose to be dismissed at 12:30 today for "preparation time"...I hadn't given homework, all the learners were still working and after telling me that my teacher left. I think she may have been a little annoyed with me, but how was I suppose to know. After giving homework, packed up and praying my learners finally left to class at 1:08, 2 minutes before they usually get out...whoops.

And with that...we head into a three day weekend. Hopefully I get into town this weekend to finish up some of the final gifts and wants, so that I am not cramming the last few days.

Thought and feelings so far...

I don't even know where to begin...

I have seen houses made from metal scraps with no electricity or running water. I have taught for a week in a school that has very little supplies and broken desks and chairs. I have had to watch teachers beat and yell at kids and have been asked by my learners to do the same or they won't learn. I have watched learners walk home in the pouring rain bare foot.

I have also been surrounded by beautiful mountains, watched the most amazing sunset from a cliff, and seen huge sand dunes everywhere. I could not help but think about how big my God is. All of the mountains and sand dunes were so big and so beautiful, it was breath taking.

I have also experienced the uneasy feeling of walking around in a town where not many speak English well and all are trying to provide for their families by selling hand made jewelry. And I cant forget about the tent schools either. I have visited a school that was held in one big tent with one table and a chalkboard in the scorching heat.

I don't even think I have completely processed everything I have seen and experienced. My heart has broken at some of the things I have seen and I have also experienced complete joy and amazement.

This experience has not been what I expected at all. I have felt alone yet surrounded by people. I have felt failure and success. I have learned, but at the same time felt as though I have retained anything. I have missed home but at the same time have not wanted to leave.

How can I love people more? How can I teach these kids in a meaningful way? How can I spend the light and hope of the Lord? How can I fully soak in all that I am experiencing? I don't want to forget the things I've seen. I don't want to waste this time hear. I want to do the Lord's will in this place.

I am here in Namibia Africa...I am in the place I have only dreamed of coming to...I have experienced things I have only imagined in my thoughts...I have pictured what it would be like and I don't know that one thing has been what I pictured.

Lord guide me as I continue on this journey.

School Profile...AI STEENKAMP PRIMARY SCHOOL

For one of our assignments we had to get together with our group at AI Steenkamp and do a school/classroom/community profile. It actually turned out to be very insightful, so if you are interested in learning more about the school I teach at read this...

AI STEENKAMP PRIMARY SCHOOL

A.I. Steenkamp Primary School (Steenkamp) is a school which serves pre-primary through grade seven learners in the township of Katutura located on the outer edge of Windhoek, Namibia. The mission of A.I. Steenkamp Primary School is “to provide the best quality education and to help our learners to seek the light for a better tomorrow,” which mirrors the school's motto of fiat lux-let there be light. Steenkamp serves approximately 1,400 learners with a staff of 43. The school is broken into two sects: lower-primary (pre-primary through grade three) and upper-primary (grade four through grade seven). Each grade level is divided into five classes, A-E for example 2A. Although class sizes vary, on average, there are 38 to 40 learners per class.

The school day at Steenkamp goes from 7h10 to 1h10 beginning with a staff devotion. Although the teacher prospectus clearly states teachers and learners must be in their home room classes by 7h10 for attendance, in reality, morning devotions do not usually begin until this time. Therefore, learners do not typically begin their first period class until 7h30 even though it is scheduled to begin at 7h20. Lower-primary classes remain in the same classroom with the same teacher for the duration of the day. However, upper-primary learners travel as a class for eight different periods a day to various classrooms. The school week begins with a Monday morning assembly which lasts approximately thirty to forty minutes. The entire school receives one break a day from 10h to 10h30, which is after upper-primary's fourth period. Steenkamp has a complex timetable which allows for learners to rotate through different subject areas including: english, maths, social studies, environmental studies, afrikaans, kkg, life skills, religious moral education, physical training, science, and arts. Learners attend core subjects, such as english and maths, everyday, where as other subjects, such as physical training and arts, are attended two to three times a week.

Learners and teachers are expected to attend school every day and arrive promptly unless prior arrangements have been made or illness occurs. All learners are also expected to wear full school uniform. For girls this consists of a blue and white plaid jumper, a belt, black shoes and short white socks. For boys this consists of grey shorts in the summer, grey pants in the winter, a grey button up shirt, black shoes, and tall grey socks. All learners are also required to maintain a certain level of cleanliness which includes combed or plated hair for girls and short combed hair for boys. Not only are learners required to keep themselves clean, it is essential for them to join hands with the staff to keep the school environment clean. Often times staff can be seen asking leaners to remove papers or scraps from the school yard. Homework is a necessary part of each learner's education and approximately two hours should be assigned every night. All learners write in exercise books, which are required to be covered with brown paper, have a cover sheet which denotes the name of the learner and the subject area, as well as their class name, and is then covered with thin plastic. As well as taking responsibility for covering their books, learners' families must also take responsibility for any injuries which take place on school premises. Papers are signed by families releasing the school from liability of injuries including death, which have occurred in the past.

School fees are supposed to be paid by all learners in the amount of N$250 per year, which help pay for the daily functions of the school. Although these fees are a requirement, only about 400 learners actually pay the full amount. This money goes to pay for some of the school's costs, such as maintenance, transportation, and phone lines; the majority of Steenkamp's monetary support comes from Namibia's Ministry of Education department. Steenkamp receives N$9 per learner for cleaning costs such as toilet paper and N$60 per learner for purchasing textbooks, which are based on the fifteenth day attendance statistics. Because Steenkamp is a state school, the staff salaries are allocated directly from the Ministry of Education. There is no system in place for daily substitute teachers. In the event which a teacher is absent, learners are either self-monitored, or supervised by a teacher who is free during a given period. If a

teacher is planning to be absent for a minimum of thirty days, for reasons such as maternity or surgery, a relief teacher is hired to take their classes for that time.

The Ministry of Education also provides the standards of learning for each grade in each subject area. There are uniform syllabi, which are distributed to each and every teacher for the subjects and grades they teach. Teacher then are required to teach according to each benchmark and standard listed in these. To assess that these standards have been met by each learner, clusters of schools create standardized tests, which are sent to the Ministry for approval and then given to learners three weeks before the end of the school year. Learners must receive a passing grade on this exam as well as in their classes in order to be promoted to the next grade the following school year.

Young Achievers Group Meeting

Katutura

Due to family situations and lack of financial means, only about two or three percent of leaners who come from Steenkamp will go on to study at the university level. This seems to be the case for the larger community of Katutura as groups, such as Young Achievers have formed to help motivate learners to seek higher education. Families in Katutura live in two different types of housing; stucco houses, which were built by the government, and shanty homes, which are made of metal, wood, and other scrap materials found throughout the area. The name Katutura, which means “the place where no one wants to live” was chosen by the black population when they were re-located there by apartheid in 1964. Katutura was originally separated into sects by tribe to prevent intertribal unity and overthrowing of the government. Because of this, there are strong relationships and community ties throughout the township.

More of Katutura

Education was much different before independence was granted to Namibia in 1990. Prior to independence, teachers taught with a teacher centered focus and learners were regarded little. The education teachers received was from a white South African perspective. Since it has only been twenty years since independence, schools are still in transition of new ways of thinking. This means many teachers who were educated before independence are still teaching and have to make monumental changes in their thinking. This 'new way' brings about a learner centered focus rather than a teacher centered one. Although progress is being made in the education system, Namibia is still a very young, independent country and has much room for growth. With the dedication and determination of emerging leaders in the field of education, there is no doubt that Namibia is on the track to a brighter future and a better tomorrow.